A Familiar Kind of Fear

The jealousy, the need for control, The paranoia that swallows me whole. It feels like home, it feels like fear, A place I run to, yet disappear.

With anyone else, I’d run a mile, I’d see the signs and fake a smile. I’d turn my back and walk away, But something in you makes me stay.

It’s strange how chaos feels like peace, How fear can bring a sweet release. How something that should make me flee, Can feel so familiar to me.

I know the darkness, know the doubt, The endless thoughts I can’t shut out. The need to know, the need to see, The fear that love will abandon me.

But there’s a difference I must find, Between a home and a haunted mind. Between the love that makes me whole, And fear disguised as taking control.

I want your madness, want your fire, Your deepest thoughts, your wild desire. But I want freedom in our embrace, Not love that leaves us without space.

I’m scared of losing what we’ve made, Of watching all our colours fade. I’m scared you’ll see the worst in me, And wish for someone easier to be.

Yet here I stand, despite it all, Afraid to stay, afraid to fall. A future waiting, strange and new, A thousand fears, but still I choose you.

And maybe love is learning why, I feel at home where others fly. To hold your hand and still be free, To love you without losing me.